This personal blog chronicles my first pregnancy. It is the seventh of this series, which will be updated every week. – Rio
Is pregnancy brain true? Well, at least for me, it was. For the first four months of my pregnancy, I became a living proof of its existence.
Yes, pregnancy can induce a brain fog, making me forget about meetings, appointments, or where I put my purse. At first, it struck me as normal. Having been diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum made me weak, thus, affecting the way I function every day.
It’s not that I was forgetting a lot of important things to do. I made sure I was still on top of my responsibilities and that they get done on time. It was just that I keep forgetting about the little ones, and I wasn’t as anal on small details like I used to. For one, I wasn’t supposed to let grammatical errors slip through the cracks as a copy editor for a social media company.
Previous Blog: Hyperemesis gravidarum rocks an end to my first trimester
The first minor mistakes can be forgiven, I suppose. But it comes up every now and then that my bosses are not having none of them anymore. Of course, I understood where they’re coming from. And I just couldn’t bring myself to play that pregnant card again and again considering that I was previously allowed to work from home. So, I simply took responsibility and took steps to make sure it never happened.
Thinking I was over the hump of that sensitive first trimester, I intended to hold on to my job until December, the month that I was due. But when my doctor found out that I have a small lump right on top of my right areola, everything has to change. Afraid that it might affect my plan to breastfeed, he insisted that I undergo all the necessary screenings to make sure it’s benign.
Previous Blog: Mothers make magic
I was 17 when I discovered the breast lump. And after consulting with a doctor, who said it was not harmful, I made the decision to live with it, fully aware that it could get bigger as time goes by. But my younger self had not looked further into a future where I would want to breast feed my baby. And I regret that decision now more than ever.
The thought of undergoing ultrasound and biopsy scared the shit out of me. It was piling on top of office politics that I had to deal with on a daily basis. I noticed my bosses were starting to pick on my work even before I made a mistake for quite a few times. This is just one of many, which I would neither share nor dwell on. They, however, made me realize that I needed to re-evaluate my priorities. Which is more important: keeping a stressful job or focusing on starting a family?
It was a no brainer. I chose to ensure that I have a healthy pregnancy than staying in a toxic environment. For me, it’s easier to find a new job than make a baby. Of course, I’m worried about our finances to support the baby. But enjoying this wonderful journey at my age is something that my husband fully understands and supports. And I just couldn’t feel any luckier than this. I guess, I’ll just go freelance, then.